Letting go is NOT giving up!

Deciding to let go does not mean you are giving up! When something does not seem like it is benefiting you why stay and keep trying? I am, well now was in a situation that was very hurtful and stressful to me. I did not want to leave the situation because I thought if I kept trying then I would be the one to fix it and make the change. Well guess what if the other person isn't doing their part or share then its not worth it! your not giving up, your doing what is best for you. Many of us grew up with the message that winners never quit and quitters never win or that an unachieved goal equals failure. But if we really understand that letting go is not the same as giving up, or quitting, we can move forward and experience a more genuine life.Instead of holding onto guilt, things you don’t care about, and projects that exhaust you, grab on to intuition, love and gratitude. Really think about how you want to invest your time and energy. Looking at the big picture, you only get one chance to have a great life. By choosing to live life on purpose, you can calm down, open yourself up to new opportunities and create more time and space to discover what you love.
top ten things to let go of today:
Clutter – Instead of focusing on clearing the clutter from your entire house, focus on one drawer, one closet, one room, or one surface at time. Being free from clutter allows you to see what’s important in your drawers, and in your life.
Obsession with numbers – Letting numbers on a scale, in your bank account or even on your google analytics dictate your mood for the day, is no way to live life on purpose. Instead of checking your weight every morning, choose one afternoon a week, or every two weeks to check your numbers. Use the numbers as markers of progress, not indicators of who you are, or how you feel.
Fear of not being good enough Feeling like you don’t measure up, may have come from your childhood, or a bad relationship, but now, that feeling is just a voice in your head. It’s your voice and your life. Recognize all that you have accomplished, and all you have to give and quiet that voice, for good.
A toxic relationship Holding on to someone that always brings you down, may be good for them, but not for you. The time you spend with others should inspire you, not depress you. Remember there is a difference between a friend that is going through a tough time and a toxic friendship. Once a relationship becomes damaging to the way you act, feel or think, it is time to let go.
Facebook friends Today, people often assess their value by their number of “friends” or “followers”. Instead, place value on your actions and character. Go through your list of connections and decide which ones aren’t useful to you. Un-friending and un-following is not personal. Ask yourself if you are connecting with someone via social media for business or pleasure, and make sure your list is in-line with your goals and values.
Regret Learn from your mistakes but don’t live in them. The choices you make every day shape your life. Looking back with more knowledge, you may have made different choices, but without a few bumps in the road or downright bad decisions, you wouldn’t be the person you are today.
Bad providers In most cases, doctors, investment bankers, auto mechanics and other service providers work for you. You pay them to help you. If they aren’t helping you, or you don’t like working with them, let them go.
Doing it all – Instead of doing it all, do all you really care about. Do what you energizes you and speaks to your spirit. Don’t feel pressured because you think everyone you know is doing 100 different, amazing things at once. Do what is right for you. When you redirect your energy in this way, you immediately become more effective.
Resistance to change – Change brings opportunity and uncertainty. While uncertainty can cause fear, excitement and new challenges, standing still and resisting change will leave you uninspired, more fearful and closed minded and that is no way to live life on purpose!
Goals that don’t fit anymore Letting go of goals and dreams can be the most challenging of all. As our lives change, we change, and things that seemed so important years ago may slowly fade away. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving your goal, focus on your new dreams and develop goals that reflect who you are right now.
Regardless of age or circumstance, understand that letting go is not the same as giving up, and give your self permission to hold on to things that are most important. Make decisions to let go knowing that it is your voice, and your life. Just as clearing the clutter from a windowsill will help you see the light, (literally and figuratively) letting go of counter productive obligations and emotions will leave you feeling lighter and inspired to contribute time and energy to your true passions.

What is one thing you can let go of today, to live better tomorrow?
xAshley

Paths of Life

We always make plans for our lives...but how many of those plans do we actually do? Everyday someone is making a plan of what they really want, and everyday someone is changing their plans around. So what happens that make us change our plans so much? Its a little thing called Life! Life happens, and it makes things change. Life causes so many emotions and based on what emotions you are going through determine what path you decide to take or change. Recently I have decided to change my major in college. I was a History major and now I have decided to change it to Family Studies. I have been through alot this summer with many people in my life and most of the emotions that I went through was disappointment and hurt. I got to thinking that my life is to mean more, that I am going through all this for a reason more than "I am strong enough to handle it." I am going through it to help others in similar situations, and that makes me so happy that I can make a decision like that based on what was going on in my life.

Here are 7 tips to help you make a life changing decision:

1. Realize the power of decision making.

Before you start making a decision, you have to understand what a decision does. Any decision that you make causes a chain of events to happen. When you decide to pick up a cigarette to smoke it, that decision might result in you picking up another one later on to get that same high feeling. After a day, you may have gone through a pack without knowing it. But if you decide not to smoke that first cigarette and make a decision every five minutes to focus your attention somewhere else when you get that craving, after doing this for a week, your cravings will eventually subside and you will become smoke-free. But it comes down to making that very first decision of deciding whether or not to pick up that cigarette.

2. Go with your gut.

Often times, we take too much time to make a decision because we’re afraid of what’s going to happen. As a result of this, we go through things like careful planning, deep analysis, and pros and cons before deciding. This is a very time consuming process. Instead, learn to trust your gut instinct. For the most part, your first instinct is usually the one that is correct or the one that you truly wanted to go with. Even if you end up making a mistake, going with your gut still makes you a more confident decision maker compared to someone who takes all day to decide.

3. Carry your decision out.

When you make a decision, act on it. Commit to making a real decision. What’s a real decision? It’s when you decide on something, and that decision is carried out through action. It’s pointless to make a decision and have it played out in your head, but not doing anything about it. That’s the same as not making a decision at all. If you want to make real changes in life, you have to make it a habit to apply action with your decision until it’s completed. By going through this so many times, you will feel more confident with accomplishing the next decision that you have in mind.

4. Tell others about your decisions.

There’s something about telling other people what we’re going to do that makes us follow through. For example, for the longest time I’ve been trying to become an early riser and whenever I tried to use my own will power, waking up early without falling back asleep felt impossible. So what I did was I went to a forum and made the decision to tell people that I would wake up at 6 AM and stay up. Within two days, I was able to accomplish doing this because I felt a moral obligation to follow through with my words even though I failed the first time. Did people care? Probably not, but just the fact that there might be someone else out there seeing if you’re telling the truth will give you enough motivation to following through with your decision.

5. Learn from your past decisions.

Even after I failed to follow through my decision the first time when I told people I was going to wake up early and stay up, I didn’t give up. I basically asked myself, “What can I do this time to make it work tomorrow? The truth is you are going to mess up at times when it comes to making decisions and instead of beating yourself up over it, learn something from it. Ask yourself, what was good about the decision I made? What was bad about it? What can I learn from it so I can make a better decision next time? Remember, don’t put so much emphasis focusing on short term effects; instead focus on the long term effects.

6. Maintain a flexible approach.

I know this might sound counter-intuitive, but making a decision doesn’t mean that you can’t be open to other options. For example, let’s say you made the decision to lose ten pounds by next month through cardio. If something comes up, you don’t have to just do cardio. You can be open to losing weight through different methods of dieting as long as it helps you reach your goal in the end. Don’t be stubborn to seek out only one way of making a decision. Embrace any new knowledge that brings you closer to accomplishing your initial decision.

7. Have fun making decisions.

Finally, enjoy the process. I know decision-making might not be the most fun thing world to do, but when you do it often, it becomes a game of opportunity. You’ll learn a lot about yourself on the way, you’ll feel and become a lot more confident when you’re with yourself and around others, and making decisions will just become a lot easier after you do it so often that you won’t even think about it.
Anything you decide to do from this point on can have a profound effect later on. Opportunities are always waiting for you. Examine the decisions that you currently have in the day. Are there any that can be changed to improve your life in some way? Are there any decisions that you can make today that can create a better tomorrow?

Good Luck with the path you decide to take!
xAshley

Letter to someone

There has been a lot of bad things between us lately. We are both to blame. I take just as much responsibility for what has been going on as you. None of this has been simple or easy and I’m sorry. I have been trying to express myself in the wrong way and I am sorry for that! I try to talk to you about it and you just ignore. A friend suggested me to write you about all my feelings, so that’s why I decided to write you a letter so you know exactly how I feel about everything and can quit sending all those messages. There are quite a few things I am going to cover, so I am sorry if its kind of long. I am not going to attack you, just telling you how I feel. I hope that you will really think about it all and talk to me about it.

In our relationship I was so happy, you made me happy! I felt so lucky to have you and couldn’t believe that you actually wanted to be with me. We had so much fun together and I thought we got along great. I loved the way I felt around you, and the butterflies I got when I was near you and when you kissed me. I am sorry if I made you feel like I expected more from you like you to be in love me. The only thing I ever wanted from you was for you to care and be with me, because that’s all that made me happy. Most times girls and guys feelings and emotions are different, but I never expected more than what you wanted to give me. I just wanted to be with you, that’s all that mattered to me. You were so important to me. I gave you something special because I knew you were the right guy to give it to because I thought you honestly cared. That night will always be special to me, I don’t know how you honestly felt.

Am I ok without you? Yes I am, I don’t like being without you though. I feel like I lost everything. It hurts me that you left me and didn’t give me a chance to try and change your mind. You broke things off through text, wouldn’t answer my calls or talk to me face to face…that’s not the right way to go about things. All I ever did was try and care for you, what is wrong with a girl caring about her boyfriend? I wish you would have talked to me about everything instead of you and her making all the decisions and leaving me in the dark to deal with it all, it wasn’t fair. I have feelings too, I am also a human being! I hate the way you treat me now, like I am a stranger. Did I mean that little to you? I have needed you a lot lately and you weren’t there when I needed you the most. I would have been there for you in a heartbeat.

The fact that you broke things off with me because she was ready to be with you again absolutely kills me. After everything she has done to you, you deserve better than that! She said a lot of pretty little nothings to you, and you abandoned me and my feeling for you. I am disappointed in you for the first time. I do not understand what you are thinking because you know how she is. I do believe in second chances, but I think that she has had one to many! She honestly does not care about you because if she did, she wouldn’t have kept doing what she did to you. I’m sorry but that’s the truth and everyone sees that but you! She had no right to start talking to you when you were in a relationship, and you had no right to do what you did to me! I honestly care about you and would’ve done anything for you, can you say the same about her? I don’t think so!

The way this situation has made me feel is like a piece of shit! I feel like I failed. You made all the decisions without me and still won’t even listen to how I feeling. And the fact that you cheated knowing that I had a previous boyfriend that did the same thing pisses me off. I feel like I am not good enough for anyone and that I am not worth anything, like I will never make anyone happy. It makes me hate myself. Because of this I had to get rid of my biggest dream, which was to be happily married. Now I don’t even want to date, that’s how bad I feel about myself. I feel like no one is ever going to want me or that I will just get hurt again. I am so scared to trust again. You came into my life and it was so easy to trust you, you broke through my walls too quickly. Now I am afraid that I wont be able to let someone else in or care about them. I feel like I am not strong anymore and I try I really do try to be strong but its so hard. I have cried a lot over you and us. I feel like you don’t care about how we ended up, I really thought you cared. Sometimes I feel like a stupid fool to believe that you care about me and that you might possibly miss me and miss being with me. And sometimes I am even more stupid to hope that one day you will call or text me saying you made a mistake and you’re sorry, but I realize that will probably never happen.

As hard as I try I can never hate you! I have tried but it doesn’t work because I care too much about you! Sometimes I am confused about the way I feel about you because of the pain I feel. I hate not having you around to hang out with and to talk to you. I don’t know who I am without us, I feel lost. I am not proud of the person I have been for the past month and I am so very sorry. I know I have been very difficult. I am going to try to be me again, a big part of me is missing without us, but I am going to go on with my life just with changes. It makes me kind of lost with us. I was so shocked about what was happening and you were not honest with me that I didn’t know how else to react to what was going on. If I could change things I would but I can’t. I do forgive you though! If that makes you feel better. I know I said I regret a lot of things with you and I really don’t. But to be honest if I would’ve know how it was going to end and what you were going to do, I don’t know if I would’ve done it all, especially that special night. I hate it when my friends talk bad about you even though I know that they have their reasons. They just don’t understand how I feel, and they never will. I hope that you understand.

 I feel like I don’t know you anymore, the person you have been lately is someone that I honestly don’t like. I miss you more than words can say, but I miss the you that was sweet, caring, and hated hurting me. You have hurt me so much this past month and I don’t know what I did to deserve it. I don’t like what is happening, I hate it!! You should have been more honest with me. I am sorry that I don’t believe that you cared. Why does that make you mad? You need to look at it through my perspective, you were talking to her while we were still together! To me that is something people do when they don’t care about their relationships or who ever they are dating. I just wanted you to show how you cared, I don’t know what I should believe anymore.

I honestly won’t loose faith in you. You will always be special to me. Sometimes I wish I didn’t care about you as much as I do. I will ALWAYS be there for you to support you when you need it, please come to me when you need it! I will always be praying for you and that you come to your senses. I do wish the best for you. My kindness and forgiveness is who I am and I wont change that, that is the part of me that this situation will not take away. I refuse to lower myself to her standards I am better than that, sleeping around and cheating is not me, that wont ever change and that’s also a part of me that cant be taken away. I never wanted to hurt you and I know I did with my words and I am so sorry. What I said to you though, you did deserve at the time just not the way that I did it. I promise to be more patient with you. I feel like we could work something out if we BOTH tried. I do really miss my necklace and would like it back (Collin and the team need the good luck and so do I lol). I am sorry I couldn’t make you happy. And I really hope that all of this was worth it to you. I miss you.


Please think about everything I have said, I know its a lot but please honestly think about it.
x Ashley

What I Cannot Change

This post is inspired by the Leann Rimes song "What I Cannot Change". The song is so pretty and explained exactly what I was feeling after I had been hurt. I was in a bad angry place realizing that what had happened to me I couldn't change it, I had to learn to accept it and forgive him for what he did. The song made me realize that instead of trying to hurt him and control the situation, I needed to rely on my faith because God is the only one really there for me. We can't change what happened, but we can change what's happening!

I know what makes me comfortable
I know what makes me tick
And when I need to get my way I know how to pour it on thick
Cream and sugar in my coffee
Right away when I awake
I face the day and pray to God I won't make the same mistakes
Oh the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

I don't know my Father
Or my Mother well enough
Seems like every time we talk we can't get past the little stuff
The pain is self inflicted
I know it's not good for my health
But it's easier to please the world than it is to please myself
Oh the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

Right now I can't care about how everyone else will feel
I have enough hurt of my own to heal

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

xAshley

Hurt

Hurt can mean many things, but the hurt I am talking about is the mental or emotional suffering. Being hurt sucks!! Me and my boyfriend just recently broke up and he hurt me real bad. The people around me just expected me to move on like it nothing. My feelings are NOT nothing. But how are you supposed to express yourself when your hurt? The are many stages called the 7 stages of grief.

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward. 

Something to always remember just from personal experience here lately is hatred and anger get you know where, it only causes more pain! You have to pray and somehow find strength through GOD to get you through and learn to forgive. I wish anyone luck who has been hurt, its so hard and no one understands how you feel but you.

xAshley 

Time

Time seems to go by slow, but when you actually look closely time goes by so fast....and then you ask yourself where has the time gone? I feel that way all the time especially now. We have two weeks of school left and that seems like forever! But when I actually think about it and all the projects I have to have done by then it now seems like I have no time at all!! Some of the things that happen in History doesn't seem that long ago but in reality it really was a long time ago for example: the civil rights movement in the 60's or what happened on Sept.11, 2011- which is now 11 years ago. I have never understood the daylight savings thing and why we have to switch our clocks twice a year, to me it just messes up my sleep timing.
Time is an equal opportunity employer.  Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day.  Rich people can't buy more hours.  Scientists can't invent new minutes.  And you can't save time to spend it on another day.  Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving.  No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow.  ~Denis Waitely

x Ashley

History

History is a a continuous, systematic narrative of past events as relating to a particular people, country, period, person, etc., usually written as a chronological account. History is so important to know and yet people do not think highly of it. I am not just saying this because I am a History major. It has always been my favorite subject in school because it was so interesting, and mainly the United States history and how we came to be. What great men the founding fathers are and yet in their day they were just ordinary people...how amazing is that?! How great is it for us to know what has happened in our great country, and alot of people take it for granted. I understand that parts of history is boring but if you look at where we started with the pilgrims to where we are today its just amazing! 


x Ashley

Pets

Pets are our best friends. We take care of them and love them like they are our own family. I love my pets, they are very important in my life. My dog Nana is very special and I don't know what I'd do without her. I have never had someone/something love me as much as she does...its unconditional. Its me and my brother were very young we have always have pets and I think I always will. Being an animal lover is a big part of me and who I am. Pets are important for kids to grow up with because it make them not scared of animals and plus it teaches them responsibility. I had a real special dog when I was younger and I will never forget her. She got me through my parent's divorce, and my brother getting hurt and almost dying. And when we had to put her down a couple years ago it was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. What are your stories of your pet/s?

x Ashley

Pride

Pride- the correct level of respect for the importance and value of your personal character, life, efforts, or achievements. Each and everyone of us should be proud of ourselves and the lives we lead and what we have done in those lives. I go to K-State and even though its not the best school in the world or best at sports...to me its the best. I am so proud of my school and I am a huge fan because of it. I went into my old job not to long ago and a few of the girls were giving me a hard time for being all dressed in K-State: hat, shirt, necklace, and even purple shoes. What I am doing at this school I am proud of why wouldn't I want to show that off? I think that everyone has the right and privilege to show off what makes them proud about themselves no matter what other think. And congrats to you for what you have done and will do that makes you proud!

x Ashley

Disappointment

The failure to attain hopes or wishes is known as disappointment. Mostly people disappoint us with broken promises or sometimes we expect something and it doesn't happen. I have experienced alot of disappointment in my life and still don't know quite how to deal with it. I can tell you what I mostly do is just try to move on and deal with it. But my question is should someone just have to deal with it? is that fair? My answer is no its not fair but sometimes there is no other way around it but to deal with it. I decided to look up someways to deal with disappointment and I found 5 ways to overcome:
             1. Give yourself a chance to grieve
             2.  Ask questions and try to learn from the situation
             3.  Take steps to prevent being similarly disappointed in the future
             4.  Help someone else
             5.  Realize that many times in life, when we don't get the thing we really want, something
                   much better comes along down the road

I hope this helps you!

x Ashley

Faith

Faith means so many different things to everyone. But the Faith that I am talking about is the one that we should have in God. Everyone goes through rough times, its gonna happen whether we like it or not. It doesn't happen because God hates us, it happens because it does. God went through something bad to, he sent his only son Jesus to die on the cross for all of us. God is most always the first person we point our fingers to when something goes wrong like he is to blame, when in reality the one we need to blame is ourselves. I was like that once because it seemed like every time I turned about since the age of 5 something bad happened. I didn't blame God for what happened...but I did accuse him for not caring. Then coming to K-State this past fall I have learned alot about God and my growing Faith. I have learned that he is the ONLY thing that we can rely on. Even now when something bad is happening to a dear family member, I turn to God for help because I know he will take care of her. If you have troubles in your life and you are not huge into religion its OK God always forgives and never judges...just turn to God and talk to him and I promise he will take care of you!

x Ashley

Future

Lately I have been thinking about my future a lot. The future makes me anxious, happy, nervous, and even a bit scared. People in my life have told me to just focus on the present or live in the moment...but being a college student you have to focus on the future and the road ahead of you. What goals do you have? What people are you gonna choose to have in your future? Are you even gonna be the same person? These are questions and many more are something I think we all ask ourselves all the time and probably everyday. I personally think that focusing on the future motivates me to finish school now so that I have something to look forward to!

“When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.”

       ~John M. Richardson, Jr

x Ashley

Inspiration

Inspiration is somebody or something that inspires somebody to creative thought or to the making of art. Everyone in our lives inspire us whether they know it or not. They inspire the good and the bad in us. Lately I have been inspired for the good in my life because of the people in my life and what's going on in my life. I am looking at life completely different. I have been inspired to get to know my artistic side and to see that I do have a talent and to use it. I think that a goal in each of our lives is that we should inspire someone to do great things with their talent!

x Ashley

Beauty

The definition of Beauty is the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc). Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way and every now and again we let that beauty shine. I think that many people look for the daily physical beauty in people that they forget to look at the beauty inside one another. This picture is one that I took on Campus here at Kansas State University and usually there is no blossoms on it, but this day it really showed its beauty and I think because I don’t get to see those blossoms everyday just every now and again, it has become my favorite tree because I get to look at it and appreciate it everyday for its beauty.

x Ashley